It’s often been said that Carrie Johnson, the Prime Minister’s third and current wife, has been a strong woke influence on Downing Street. Parliament Square has noticed that the “senior adviser” to the activist conservation charity Oceana’s Twitter cover picture is her and animal rights campaigner Dominic Dyer next to a “Stop Whaeling” [sic] banner.

So Parliament Square was shocked to discover the real hardline Tory, that ever-hopeful anti-fash fighters have been struggling to find in this government, isn’t not the hapless Home Secretary at all, but none other than Carrie herself.

Operation Ark, the plan to rescue 200 cats and dogs from Kabul, has been nothing if not controversial, with Defence Secretary Ben Wallace taking time out of managing the Afghanistan exodus to send a six tweet thread trying to clear things up.

Carrie’s friend Dominic Dyer claimed that Boris Johnson had ordered Wallace to rescue the stranded animals after coming under pressure from his wife — who does not influence policy or hand out government jobs — to prioritise the dumb brutes. Wallace has been involved in a stand-off with Paul Farthing, a former marine known as “Pen”, who has been refusing to leave Kabul unless he can take the animals and staff of an animal shelter he set up there with him.

Mrs Johnson has clearly learnt 3D chess from her nemesis Dominic Cummings. It seems she had managed to strong-arm a Cabinet Minister and hide her strict anti-refugee views behind the cuddly message of saving animals. Now we realise Carrie and her very dark green friends would put more care into even dirty dogs coming into this country over fleeing Afghans. Who knew?