The reason that ASLEF (Associated Society of Locomotive Engineers and Firemen) funded the Labour Party with £100,000 going into the last election is obvious. The Labour Party was actually founded in order to give representation to the Trades Union Congress in parliament. So, a union funding their own people with £159k in two years is just and righteous – that’s what both organisations are for, to fight on behalf of the working man. That within 6 weeks of getting elected the Labour Party proffers a near £200 million a year pay rise to ASLEF members (15% of 60k for 20,000 union members is about that much. Even the most optimistic guess is £100 million after taxes on those higher wages) is nothing, at all, to do with the donation. No, absolutely not, both are merely and simply the just and righteous things to be doing in each specific case.

That would be corruption and as we know that doesn’t happen

Right-thinking people, of course, seem to find it easier to imagine less innocent framings when private companies make political donations. Almost as a random selection:

Boeing has received $15.4 billion in government contracts while paying $3.3 million into electoral funds this cycle. A 4,725 to one return on investment (no, not 4,725 per cent, but actually times).

Leppington Pastoral Company (no, me neither, in Australia) seems to have upped the price of land by $27 million and made a $58,000 donation A 465 times return.

A US tax break created $200 million in savings and there was a $20 million donation – 10:1.

Australia again, a company that has made some $850,000 in political donations has received $800 million in government contracts.  

Now of course absolutely none of these are direct quid pro quos. That would be corruption and as we know that doesn’t happen. Politics is expensive, it’s necessary to pay in order to get elected. Therefore people who share the basic values of those attempting to get elected will aid in bearing those expenses. Just given how the world works those aiding will be the two groups with significant money – associations of workers; unions – and associations of capitalists; companies. We should all be very grateful for their expenditure in keeping this democracy show on the road.  

Except, except, it’s not very expensive to get elected. True, Electoral Commission numbers are not complete, there are ways of donating they don’t measure (time and people being obvious ones) but the Labour Party seems to have gained some £10 million or so in the last couple of years. All political parties combined have brought in just under £23 million. 

The thing is, that £10 million, or £23 million, then leads to control of a well north of £1 trillion budget for the next five years. The potential multiplier is not hundreds of times, thousands over a parliament, it’s hundreds of thousands of times over the 5 years. 

True, it’s only in the vilest periods of our own history – or the vilest places on Earth right now – that all of the state resources are spent upon those who aid gaining control of said state. The Normans taking the country perhaps, or the split of the oil revenues in Equatorial Guinea, would be examples.

But still, given the multipliers, we can see why ill-disposed folk might be tempted to fund politics. Luckily we have those barriers to it happening here. The Electoral Commission for one, the general insistence upon probity in public life another. Who wouldn’t be willing to put down £100k, once, for a return, weeks later, of £200 million a year?  

Because the thing is, see, politicians are so really, terribly, cheap. They’re the best investment you’ll ever make.