As a terminally ill cancer patient, the recent flurry of assisted dying bills within the UK has left me feeling concerned over the future for end-of-life care. 

On the 29th of November the House of Commons will debate the latest in a line of assisted dying bills. There is also a similar bill making its way through the House of Lords and one that is currently on hold before the Scottish Parliament. 

My own journey with life threatening illness started over three years ago when at 36 I was diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer. Last April I met with the colorectal surgeon who informed me that my cancer had returned, was spreading aggressively through my body and there was no curative option. My prognosis was 6 to 12 months without treatment and the possibility of up to 12 extra months with treatment. Fast forward to September and the chemotherapy had failed to have any impact. My cancer biomarkers were so high that I did not expect to see Christmas. Death had loomed uncomfortably close once more and as my body increasingly malfunctioned my cancer inspired gloomy contemplation. 

It might seem natural from my position to advocate strongly for legalisation of assisted suicide. As my circumstances wax towards the bleak, grim and inevitable would it not be better to avoid the worst and command my own demise? Yet I remain deeply concerned at this faulty reasoning made by people who have not faced a debilitating death. 

Everyone is different and individual reasons for seeking to end one’s life are often complex. Witnessing others facing similar diagnoses to my own has shown me how differently people can respond to such difficult news. The full gamut of our human emotion comes to bear when confronted with frailty and terminal vulnerability. However, despite the range of responses, that vulnerability is common to all terminally ill people and is an important consideration in the matter of assisted dying. 

We, the terminally ill are vulnerable from fear and an inability to accept the change in circumstances. We are vulnerable from our own pride against accepting help or living with weakness. We are vulnerable as we follow stages of acceptance, facing depression, denial or feeling the need to bargain with circumstances. The terminal journey is not an even road, every day requires strength and determination. It is at times beset with deep valleys of despair where the respite of death appears sweet. It is amid this turmoil that assisted dying, presented as a reasonable solution, has the potential to find people in a place of hopelessness and compel them into premature surrender. 

Purpose may also be found unexpectedly amidst the turmoil

Finding purpose in the dusk of life is a challenge and with rapidly shifting priorities we can lose sight of meaning and motivation. However, with such a changed perspective comes a sharp contrast on importance and meaning if we are encouraged to find it. Purpose may also be found unexpectedly amidst the turmoil. 

I would characterise the road towards end of life as complex and unexpected with emotional peaks and troughs which take us to our limits of endurance. For example, it was four days after receiving my April prognosis that I had my first interview with Reform UK to be a perspective parliamentary candidate. As I was undergoing further scans and tests, I received notification that I had been shortlisted by the party. Finally, the day before Mr. Sunak called the new election, I received a phone call inviting me to represent Reform in North East Fife. In this staunch Liberal Democrat constituency, I found purpose doing my small part to promote change which I believe in. I encountered purpose after my terminal diagnosis, opening a surreal new chapter despite my shifting reality. 

Legitimising suicide through the law has the potential to impact us all at some point in our lives. If we advocate for premature death, we send a message to dying people that their path is fixed, and their value is ebbing away which is simply not true. Furthermore, there is an increasing body of evidence showing how suicide is contagious amongst families, friendships, communities and peer groups. Suicide contagion shows us that legalising assisted dying has a societal impact far deeper than simply oƯering people a legal avenue for pre-empting their end of life. If as a society we fail to uphold life for those who are living with life limiting and life changing medical conditions, we potentially devalue life for all. 

Currently, within palliative care, access to pain medication can eliminate most pain. We have  the right to refuse further treatment. This provides the medical profession with the tools to carefully manage the end of life and death. Assisted dying will not improve this, it will instead facilitate circumvention of true palliative care. 

Sadly, there will always be those determined to pursue their own termination. In these extreme cases there is already judicial discretion that has protected people from prosecution. Legalising physician assisted suicide seems to be solving a problem for which there are already solutions while also opening the door to a detrimental shift in our society.