This article is taken from the July 2022 issue of The Critic. To get the full magazine why not subscribe? Right now we’re offering five issues for just £10.

I wholeheartedly support the principle of free speech, but I do think that those who say things that offend minority groups ought to be arrested and possibly executed. 

Take the recent film The Lady of Heaven. I haven’t watched the film, but apparently it is extremely offensive to the Islamic faith. There are only two billion Muslims in the world which, according to mathematicians, is only 25 per cent of the world’s population. This makes them an oppressed minority and deserving of our protection. 

This is clearly an Islamophobic dog whistle

Thankfully, mass protests outside cinemas have led to screenings of The Lady of Heaven being cancelled. Islamophobes have been quick to point out that all the protesters were men and that we shouldn’t be supporting such a reactionary and patriarchal religion. But the Koran is actually a feminist book. The part about beating women is clearly ironic. 

Besides, if there really was a problem with gender inequality in Islam, how do you explain the fact that there has never been a single successful conviction in a Sharia court for misogynistic hate crime?

As a Muslim ally, I consider any attack on Islam to be a form of racism. Imagine how ignorant you’d have to be to mock their beloved prophet or that four-armed elephant thing they all seem to like so much. 

It’s not just blasphemous movies. Our media is also institutionally Islamophobic. We constantly hear reports of Islamic suicide bombers in the press, and yet for some reason Catholic suicide bombers are never mentioned. 

And why is it that in media coverage of ISIS, reporters can never bring themselves to say anything nice about them? It’s obvious that they have a major problem with people of colour being in positions of power. 

And one of our most popular children’s television shows is about Peppa Pig, a character entirely made out of pork. This is clearly an Islamophobic dog whistle.

The sad truth is that Islamophobia in the UK is out of control. Even our police force routinely target Muslims for no reason whatsoever. If you don’t believe me, try shouting “Allahu Akbar” at an airport and see what happens.