A few weeks ago I posted a tweet to comment on the newly released photographs of the internationally acclaimed singer Adele, who has gone from a kick-ass body-positive well-rounded figure to an attenuated sliver of her former self. It goes without saying that such drastic weight loss sends a terrible message to People of Girth (POGs). As I pointed out in my tweet, by losing weight Adele is guilty of fat-shaming her younger self.

Needless to say, I was subjected to a torrent of abuse merely for speaking my truth. Adele fans the world over were insisting that her choices were hers alone. I do agree that women should be able to do whatever they want, so long as it is approved by intersectional feminists.

Besides, by shedding the pounds Adele is normalising hatred against POGs and thereby revealing herself to be a fascist. Mussolini may have had his flaws, but at least he didn’t diet.

Public figures are role models, and yet most of them are skinny. This sends a dangerous message to young people. Football teams, for instance, tend to be comprised of slim and athletic players. Why should fat people be excluded? This is discrimination, pure and simple.

And fat sprinters are even rarer. The idea that the first to cross the finish line should be considered the “winner” is the reason why obese people are so underrepresented in competitive racing.

Part of the problem is that the so-called “medical community” has been allowed to peddle its fatphobia for too long. My good friend Aurelia recently went to the doctor, and she was told that she had to lose weight or die. Fat-shaming is bad enough, but now it appears as though doctors are literally threatening to kill their patients.

If you want to make a difference, you should consider transitioning to obese. It’s not all that difficult. All it takes is long periods of immobility and copious quantities of fried bread. Alternatively, you can simply identify as obese. That way, you’re making a statement against fat-shaming, but you don’t have to worry about type 2 diabetes or looking rough in a thong.