This article is taken from the April 2026 issue of The Critic. To get the full magazine why not subscribe? Get five issues for just £5.
Does almost meaningless verbiage matter? I say almost because such verbiage usually has connotation whilst carefully avoiding denotation — like the promises of politicians. It is the verbal equivalent of the bland music played in some public places, which is not to be listened to but intended (presumably) to soothe a potentially savage beast.
Outside my hotel room in France recently was a poster. The hotel was one of those chain establishments in which rooms are exactly the same whether they be in Valparaiso or Vladivostok (before sanctions).
You know in advance exactly what you are getting, and it is precisely the impersonality of such hotels that is their attraction and their advantage. It is relaxing sometimes to be completely anonymous and to have to play no part. The notice said the following:
Imagine positive hospitality. Because we care for millions of guests, each of our hotels is a planet in itself and every action matters. Let’s drive the change, and invite the world to accompany us. To better welcome the future.
Perhaps any commentary on this, which could be taken from a speech by a Blair or a Sarkozy, is taking a sledgehammer to crack a nut, but still it irritated me profoundly. Of the split infinitive I will say nothing, but I should like to know in what sense it follows that every action matters “because we care for millions”. Every action of whom? To whom does every action matter?
What exactly is “the change” that the world is invited to “drive”, and who are the “we” of the “us” the reader is invited to accompany? The main change I have noticed in the hotel of late (I have stayed there several times) is a dramatic increase in price, a change I accompanied by paying my bill. Here I pay, I can do no other.
Does such verbiage matter? It adds to the impression that we are surrounded by lies, euphemisms and deceit. It emasculates us because we are powerless to reply or even to demand an explanation. Intelligent people have spent hours devising such cunning bilge.
