This article is taken from the November issue of The Critic. To get the full magazine why not subscribe? Right now we’re offering three issue for just £5.

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As far as I am concerned, supermarkets exist primarily to instruct us on the importance of social justice. This is why I’m so relieved that Sainsbury’s has weighed in on Black Lives Matter, and has started berating any customers who might have reservations about the movement. “We proudly represent and serve our diverse society,” Sainsbury’s announced, “and anyone who does not want to shop with an inclusive retailer is welcome to shop elsewhere.”

This is an important development. Too many white people (and white-adjacent black people) have been criticising BLM for being anti-capitalist, anti-police and — as its website points out — committed to dismantling “cisgender privilege” and the nuclear family. As Sainsbury’s bravely asserted, anyone who opposes any of these things is an evil bigot who should be shopping at Waitrose with all the other white supremacists.

Sainsbury’s has even started recommending books like White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo, an author who has done more than anyone to remind us that all white people are racist oppressors. It’s great to see Sainsbury’s now passing this message on to their customers, and I can’t see how this could possibly backfire.

To be honest, this does not go far enough. I would like to see Sainsbury’s employing BAME members of staff to stand at the entrance of each store to throw stale cabbages at white shoppers as they enter. They should be forced to pay an extra 15 per cent on their bill as reparations for slavery, which can then be divided up among the local BAME population.

White shoppers should also be subjected to unconscious bias tests. An example question could be: “Who is the more talented actor — Judi Dench, or the Cat from Red Dwarf?” Anyone who claims Dench is superior is clearly a racist and should be ejected from the premises.

Now Sainsbury’s has even promised to publish its “ethnicity pay gap” and has offered its black employees an online “safe space to gather”. After all, as white liberals it is our responsibility to protect people of colour by keeping them separate from everyone else and constantly reminding them that they will always be oppressed.

Without us, they are nothing.