Photo by David Scullion
Woke World

Block Boris!

There is a risk that if Boris Johnson receives the most votes he might actually win. This is unacceptable

I do try to be supportive of the working classes, but when it comes to politics they really should just leave it to their betters. After all, we know that democracy doesn’t work if people vote the wrong way.

And the problem with these working-class types is that there are just so many of them. You would have thought with their lack of hygiene and poor comprehension skills they would have died out by now.

Many of them seem determined to support parties that will implement the result of the Brexit referendum, which is plainly absurd. For a start, the population clearly didn’t know what they were voting for. When they said they wanted to leave the EU, they didn’t necessarily think that meant leaving the EU.

Try asking any Brexit supporter why they voted Leave. The answer is always the same: “A bus told me to.” Such are the dire consequences of universal suffrage. Everyone mocked Anna Soubry when she tweeted that Brexit is “the most important decision facing our country since WW3”, but I have no doubt whatsoever that Brexit could lead to a fourth world war. They won’t be laughing then.

And now with a general election looming we might well be facing a similar catastrophe. Apparently, due to our archaic “first past the post” system, there is a risk that if Boris Johnson receives the most votes he might actually win. This is unacceptable.

This is why I applaud Jeremy Corbyn’s suggestion that we lower the voting age to 16. I would take this a step further and suggest that only the under 12s should be allowed to vote. As Whitney Houston said, “The children are our future.” And we can always threaten to take away their smartphones if they don’t vote Labour.

Or how about this for a solution? Let’s allow everybody to vote in the general election, but make it illegal to opt for the Tories or the Brexit Party. That way, we can stop a fascist party from getting elected, but we still have democracy. It’s a win-win.

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