This article is taken from the April 2024 issue of The Critic. To get the full magazine why not subscribe? Right now we’re offering five issues for just £10.

The NHS is now officially a neo-fascist organisation. It was bad enough that it appropriated the rainbow flag during the Covid pandemic, thereby erasing LGBTQ+ people from existence. Now it has banned puberty blockers for trans children. It should be renamed the NSS: the New Schutzstaffel.

Trans children exist. Even in the womb, many foetuses can sense their own trans identity. This is why pregnant people often feel them kicking from within. Given the opportunity, the unborn would doubtless declare their pronouns, only it’s very difficult to enunciate with a mouthful of amniotic fluid.

He can always have them stitched back on when she becomes a girl again

So-called “research” has apparently shown that most feelings of gender dysphoria are resolved during puberty. If it is true that children are less likely to transition if they develop into adults, then surely the very process of maturation is a form of anti-trans terrorism.

“Experts” have also claimed that cross-sex hormones and surgery are not appropriate for minors, and that a child cannot possibly give informed consent as they will not understand the concepts of lifelong sterility or the loss of sexual function. These kinds of hate facts are frankly genocidal. “Informed consent” is a far-right dog-whistle.

Gender identity is innate and fixed, but also completely fluid. So if a trans teenager who was assigned female at birth has a double mastectomy to become the boy he always was, he can always have them stitched back on when she becomes a girl again.

In fact, we should probably transition all infant babies on the off-chance that they might later realise that they are trapped in the wrong body. This will also prevent anyone from growing up as cis, which will finally mean an end to transphobia. I can’t believe no-one has suggested this before.

Ultimately, medical practitioners need to understand that we all have a gender identity. It is an essence, an immaterial spirit capering gracefully within the cosmos of our being. It is only through surgical modification of our bodies to better reflect this enchanting inner sprite that we might become our authentic selves. After all, we have a duty to follow the science.