London-based bank Barclays is scrapping its Diversity, Equality and Inclusion targets in the US, but not the UK. On Radio 4’s PM programme, real life businessman and former Pizza Express chairman Luke Johnson was sent to bat for racism, claiming that DEI is basically another form of discrimination, and arguing that the widely cited McKinsey study (that claimed DEI was good for business) was bogus. Thankfully, someone with a better CV to be able to talk about these matters, “Equality Campaigner” Pavita Cooper, put him right, arguing that businesses in the UK can’t possibly be meritocratic “because we have more than 50 per cent women in this country and we don’t see that representation at the top of organisations”. Here’s a handy guide to explain the logic if you’re unsure:
How do we know that your organisation is not meritocratic?
Because it does not reflect the racial and gender make-up of the population.
Join Britain’s most civilised publication.
Challenge the consensus. Access rigorous analysis.
Why does it not reflect the racial and gender make-up of the population?
Because it is not meritocratic.
It’s iron-clad logic a medieval theologian would be proud of. If anyone points out any flaws — could some other factors be involved? — you just need to say “old boy’s club” over and over until they stop. Only when we succeed in strong-arming companies into accepting equality of outcomes can women and ethnic minorities become CEOs instead of being forced to accept humiliating drudge jobs like “Equality Campaigner”.
Just Stop Oil stop oil
Success! The fearless campaign group who have so effectively redefined artwork with tomato soup, and disrupted oil refineries and patients going to hospitals, are putting away the superglue, calling it a day, and presumably all getting showers. Just Stop Oil has succeeded in getting the government to end new oil and gas extraction so they are finishing their campaign. Oh, and also perhaps because quite a few of them are in jail. The injustice! What sort of fascist state locks people up just for committing crimes? But apparently Just Stop Oil aren’t quitting until they pull off a final protest in central London on April 26 for old times sake. What will they do next? Well nothing of course, as it would be preposterous to think that radical environmentalist groups are linked just because they have the same ideas, strategies, participants et cetera. But rumours suggest that a new, iconoclastic group called Just Kill Yourself to Protect the NHS is about to be formed along the same lines, as long as Kim Leadbeater doesn’t beat them to it.
London is cooked
Last month on St Patrick’s day, Sadiq Khan declared that the world capital was open to everyone, sharing a wonderful video of Irish people dancing a jig, no longer fearful of prejudice now that the natives have been cleared out. But it was the food in the video that interested me: “I came to London 20 years ago really believing that it was all about French food, so to be here in Trafalgar Square cooking with Irish food is an incredible moment” said one Irish cook, thankful that there is now room for potato blight amongst the non-English delicacies. Gammon-eaters might loudly wonder if Dublin is planning to host a big St George’s day parade later this month, but to that I say:
- St George wasn’t even English.
- The dragon wasn’t even English, he was Welsh.
and 3. You’re a racist.
We invented everything (bad)
True anti-racists know that every malign idea and thought, can be traced back to dead white European men. This is why the fact that a historian claiming the British Empire taught Muslims homophobia should be uncontroversial: “The 19th century was a period in which Christian armies generally beat Muslim armies and stole lots of their territory,” Diarmaid MacCulloch, emeritus professor at Oxford University told a Telegraph event. And “public school horror of same sex relationships was exported to the colonies and embedded in their legal systems”. So true. Who can forget the British Empire eradicating pride parades across Africa and the Middle East. The fact that Muslims have persisted in their hatred of same-sex relationships whilst Britain is now celebrating them is evidence of how entrenched the unnatural views that we definitely taught them are. At least Britain never quite managed to colonise Afghanistan, and so the queer-friendly tradition of bacha bazi could endure.
