This article is taken from the August-September 2024 issue of The Critic. To get the full magazine why not subscribe? Right now we’re offering five issues for just £10.
From: Simon Case
Subject: Morning meetings
Hi Sue,
Hope you’re settling in, and it’s great to have you back in Downing Street! Sorry I missed this morning’s meeting, but I didn’t get the email. I guess the lists are still being updated. Anyway, I’ve asked your assistant to make sure I’m on it in future.
Best, Simon
From: Morgan McSweeney
Subject: The Next Phase
If Lulu’s wallpaper is coming down in the flat, we’d happily take it — reuse and recycle!
Well, that went pretty fine. Shame about Diane, but we can’t win them all. I’m turning my thoughts to Project ToryBlame. I know that you’re not generally a fan of Freedom of Information, but I was wondering if this would be the moment to start encouraging journalists to ask questions about various matters that took place between 2016 and 2024. Can you suggest any especially fertile areas?
From: Mrs Carrie Johnson (Mrs)
Subject: Wallpaper
Darling, long time no speak. Just to say that if Lulu’s wallpaper is coming down in the flat, we’d happily take it — reuse and recycle!
Love C xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: Simon Case
Subject: Re: Morning meetings
Sue,
Again, apologies for my absence today. I still don’t seem to be on the list, and so, though I did try to attend, I didn’t get the message that the location had changed. Will check my spam folder.
Best, Simon
From: nADINEdORRIES
Subject: i WIL GET YO
Yo may thInk yo hAve one but i hAve my ey on yo and yor M16 frends and wot YO DID TO BORIS.
lADYvENJENCE
From: The Office of Liam Conlon MP
Subject: mum how get red wine out white shirt thx
From: Robbins, Olly
Subject: Chat?
Perhaps best if I don’t come to Downing Street. Fancy swinging by our office in Mayfair? O
From: Simon Case
Subject: Re: Re: Morning meetings
Sue,
I have asked the IT department to look at my computer, as I think my email account may be malfunctioning. Please let me know if you receive this.
Best, Simon
Enjoying The Critic online? It's even better in print
Try five issues of Britain’s newest magazine for £10
Subscribe![Critic magazine cover](https://standfirst-thecriticmag-production.imgix.net/uploads/2024/07/CriticAugust2024cover.png?fit=crop&crop=faces,entropy&q=75&auto=compress,format&w=230&h=300)