If you check out Taylor Swift’s Spotify profile, you’ll find her top song, Cruel Summer, has racked up over 2.5 billion listens. That’s right. 2.5 billion people crying in their cars, imagining they’re the star of a heartbreak montage. Rumour has it, among them is our very own Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer, who’s just lived through his own cruel summer after he and his Labour Party won a landslide majority in July.

Starmer himself admits his first 100 days in office have been “choppy”. Stabbings in Southport, riots in Harehills, wealthy donors schmoozing in No. 10, and dangerous prisoners walking free — calling it “choppy” might just be the understatement of the year.

With all this pressure, it’s no surprise that Starmer found comfort among his fellow Swifties, attending one of Taylor Swift’s sellout summer shows at Wembley Stadium with his family. But he wasn’t just another face in the crowd. Starmer managed to snag a cosy 10-minute chat with Taylor (and her mum) backstage. Maybe he was hoping to get her views on fiscal policy or, at the very least, get some advice on how to “shake off” the bad press.

But shaking off bad headlines won’t be easy for Starmer, as he’s been caught in another scandal — this time over Swift receiving a taxpayer-funded police escort during her London stay.

How did this happen? It has been alleged that Lord Hermer, Labour’s Attorney General, pressured Scotland Yard into granting the escort after Taylor’s mum, Andrea Swift, threatened to axe the shows unless the pop star received the red-carpet treatment. Even Sue Gray, who briefly served as Starmer’s chief of staff, was reportedly involved, pushing the Yard to accommodate Swift’s demands. While officials at the Metropolitan Police warned this would break protocol and drain public funds, Labour Swifties got their wish. The Met caved, Taylor got her royal-style escort, and those involved — cabinet ministers and even Gray — enjoyed free tickets for the concert. Although Starmer denies any link, of course. 

While accusations of sleaze abound, a more important question is: why the government has been quick to pressure officials and dish out taxpayers’ cash to appease an American pop star but seems unable and even unwilling to keep dangerous criminals off of Britain’s streets? 

While Swift enjoyed her taxpayer-funded escort, ordinary Brits have been left to fend for themselves thanks to Labour’s early prison release scheme. While the scheme may have had its intended consequence of cutting the prison population, it (predictably) hasn’t made Britain a safer place to live. 

Unlike Taylor Swift, average Brits can’t afford 24/7 private security

Across the country, prisons have mistakenly released offenders who should have remained behind bars. Inmates at HMP Nottingham were swiftly re-arrested after re-offending, with officials admitting they’re “uncertain how many had been recalled”. In one shocking case, a man in Kent was released only to sexually assault a woman the same day. Even worse, the Ministry of Justice confessed that some serious offenders would now qualify for release, despite previous promises that they wouldn’t. It’s chaos.

Unlike Taylor Swift, average Brits can’t afford 24/7 private security; they rely on the public justice system to keep them safe. So why, in a country subjected to blatant disorder and crime, is an American pop star, with a net worth rivalling small nations’ GDP, receiving police escorts funded by British taxpayers? No wonder many feel as if Britain is suffering from two tier policing.

If this is what we can expect from Labour — a government indulging the whims of pop stars over ensuring public safety — then their message to Brits who fear for their safety is clear: you’re on your own, kid.