“The government believes in the principle of individual liberty and in the humanity and dignity of every person,” Kemi Badenoch told the House of Commons. She was answering a question from the Tory MP Michael Fabricant, who had told her he was worried that trans people were being “demonised”. Badenoch was anxious to reassure him. “In everything we do,” she said, “we want to take the toxicity out of the debate.”

That was the position of the government at 11:57 am on Wednesday, and it lasted four minutes and 37 seconds. “I am certain what a woman is,” Rishi Sunak taunted Keir Starmer at 12:02pm, to cheers from his own side. “Is he?” I’d hate to hear what the prime minister would say if he wanted to put some toxicity into a debate.

It seems obvious that the language the parties use about each other is only going to get nastier as the election approaches, but sometimes it’s genuinely difficult to imagine how either side will achieve this. Both leaders have been accused of covering up for rapists and child molesters. Where do you go from there?  

Prime Minister’s Questions offered little hope that our democracy is on the threshold of a new era of enlightened debate. Starmer quoted George Osborne at Sunak, and the prime minister replied by quoting Ed Balls. Live long enough, and you too may find yourself cited as a source of wisdom by your enemies.

Sometimes these sessions are just about making your own side feel good. At first, both men were doing fine on that score. Starmer called Sunak “Mr 24 Tax Rises”. The prime minister said Labour was on the side of “protestors and picketers”. 

The Labour leader said families were poorer under the Tories. “Does the prime minister really think that everything is fine? Or is he just clueless about life outside his bubble?”

Sitting next to the prime minister, Oliver Dowden was glowering at the opposition. You don’t often see a good glower, so it’s worth noting one when it comes along. It was a mix of Paddington Bear-style hard stare and Draco Malfoy sneer. For a man who had just been appointed deputy prime minister, in place of Dominic Raab, he didn’t look very happy. I remember Dowden from his days as a genial centrist a decade ago, and have watched with fascination his journey from loyal supporter of David Cameron to loyal supporter of Theresa May to loyal supporter of Boris Johnson to loyal supporter of Rishi Sunak. He never managed to be a loyal supporter of Liz Truss, but there are limits to anyone’s flexibility.

Sunak answered Starmer by listing all the extra payments going to people on welfare. Behind him, Sir Bill Cash said something that was sadly inaudible, but let’s assume it was supportive of all these handouts. The prime minister said that all Labour had to offer was “more borrowing, higher inflation and higher interest rates”. Perhaps his point was that voters are already getting all of these things, and so don’t need to go to the trouble of changing government.

Starmer suggested the government could raise cash by abolishing the tax break for non-domiciled rich people. Dowden’s expression was one of pure hatred. You could have used it to cut steel. Sunak however thought he saw an opportunity. The Labour leader, he said, “talks about this non-dom thing — I think he has already spent the money that he claims he would raise on five different things.” This is a fair point, but it was a horribly clumsy wording. Down the bench from him, Penny Mordaunt bit her lip at “this non-dom thing”. It was a very off-hand way for the prime minister to talk about a tax break for very rich people who until recently included his own wife. Labour cheered with delight.

“I can see why he is attracted to ‘this non-dom thing’,” Starmer replied. “This prime minister is so removed from the country that he boasted that he did not know a single working-class person. So out of touch that he looks at a petrol pump and a debit card like they have just arrived from Mars.” 

Dowden looked like he could think of a few ways he’d like to use a petrol pump on Starmer. I had no idea he was capable of such passion. Perhaps when both sides have run out of insults, they can move on to hand-to-hand combat. I’d watch out for the new deputy prime minister. He might be even more dangerous than the last one.