Why are so many women silent on the subject of self-ID, and why are so many others determined to bulldoze their own hard-won rights? I often find myself troubled by this question. 

Of course, there will be some who are too nervous to engage in this discussion for fear of losing their job and livelihood. To take an active interest in our sex-based-rights is an increasingly risky business that requires courage — and maybe a comfortable security net. 

It has become obvious that women are having to make a tough decision: do they speak up for themselves, or do they act kindly towards men?

Women have been socially conditioned to be kind

Women have been socially conditioned to be kind above all else. A woman must be selfless, caring, nurturing and cooperative — a stereotype that poses a real problem for women who disagree with the movement to strip them of their sex-based rights. What’s more, trans rights activists (TRAs) are having some of their more extreme demands met because women are frightened that to deny them could be construed to be a sign of unkindness.

In recent days it feels as the “gender critical” (GC) movement — one which refuses to tolerate women’s spaces and language audited, removed and disparaged by intolerant men — has made real strides.

After Rosie Duffield courageously opened up to the press about the online abuse she received for daring to state the obvious, many are now approaching the conversation with a new lens. Andrew Marr asked an uncomfortable Ed Davey on Sunday morning “What is wrong with the phrase, woman: adult human female?” to which he couldn’t offer a definitive response.

The public watches this and asks: how have we got to this point? It’s encouraging to see more GC feminists switching their Twitter avatar pictures to show real photographs of themselves; women are now becoming emboldened to protest the wave of extreme gender ideology floating through UK — particularly Scottish — politics.

But inevitably, along came the counter-hashtags. One blue-ticked woman tweeted: “I do believe #transwomenarewomen, […] I’m very interested in kindness and how that might change some of the current discourse.” Others deplored the “toxicity” of the debate as if women’s audacity to question trans orthodoxy is a dirty, unclean stain on a virtuous, utopian ideal.

Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu (a women’s right activist according to her bio) claimed the “reality” of #TransWomenAreWomen “isn’t up for debate” and we should all “say no to Transphobia”.

Why should women “be kind” about an agenda that could have disastrous consequences for their safety

I’m not sure why Dr Mos-Shogbamimu believes that she has the authority to tell people they are barred from discussing biological reality — but she is sorely mistaken. Gender critical feminists will continue to seek debate wherever and whenever women’s rights are threatened. A phobia is an irrational fear — it is not transphobic to question the problems that arise from the elimination of single sex spaces when the threat of VAWG is very real.

Why should women “be kind” about an agenda that could have disastrous consequences for their safety? Here, we see the word “kind” used as a synonym for “shut up”. Trans rights are already being met; as Tom Farr recently wrote: “Section 7 of the Equality Act affords protection to anyone who is undergoing, has undergone, or who proposes to undergo a process (or part of a process) to change their legal sex.”

You know what isn’t kind? Allowing potential sex offenders and opportunists into spaces where women have sought refuge from abusive men. You know what isn’t generous? Taking away a woman’s sports scholarship when she loses to a biological male “presenting as a woman”.

Extreme gender ideology encourages sexist stereotypes that women should shut up and be nice

I am sympathetic towards the women that feel they must “be kind” in this fight. Such women have been conditioned so as not to upset men or to ensure others feel comfortable, wanted and loved. Therefore, when a self-IDing transwoman says “I just want to pee”, it is not unreasonable to ask why this is such a problem. It is a problem because it is a reductive view of the battle to safeguard women’s sex-based rights. Women must not disregard their basic protections for fear of being perceived as “mean”.

Extreme gender ideology flourishes because it plays on and encourages sexist stereotypes that women should shut up and be nice. It is high time that the “kindness” mantra is challenged for what it really is: a tool to silence dissenting women. 

There’s a hashtag for that: #WomenWon’tWheesht.