Tory Story

Playtime is never over in Westminster

Artillery Row

Pilot of the Future?

It’s the sequel they’ve all been waiting for! Hollywood was thrilled this weekend when a chance comment revealed plans for a third term of the hit comedy Tory Story. We at The Critic are excited to have been granted an exclusive look at the plans…

Wes Lightyear To The Rescue!

After accidentally voting to leave Andy’s Room, the toys allow Lord Potato Head to negotiate them a place at No Deal Day Care. At first, it’s everything they dreamed of, but they soon start to suspect they’ve made a terrible mistake. 

Their new home is ruled by Lots-o’-Huggin’ Boris and his sidekick, the plastic-haired male model Rishi, who lives in a Dream House with a disco, a dune buggy, and a whole room just for trying on clothes.

Who can save our heroes?

At first, Boris seems like a big bundle of fun who smells of strawberries, but the toys come to realise that a traumatic incident in his past has left him horribly damaged and unable to form trusting relationships. “The guy may seem plush and huggable on the outside, but inside, he’s a monster.” He’s running up Monopoly money bills with his plan to build a tree house out of solid gold, and there are rumours about exactly who he’s been huggin’.

It’s chaos at the day-care. Trussie the Cowgirl announces she’s going to rewrite the Potato Head deal. Rishi begins to wonder if he’s simply an accessory. 

Who can save our heroes? Wooden the Lawman never wanted to leave Andy’s Room. Can he find a way back in? He spends much of the movie in a different place from the rest of the cast. Possibly in a different film.

It’s time to send for Wes Lightyear! With his unnaturally smooth skin and slick hair, Wes claims to be the future. But what are his real motives? Who does he actually think he is? And why is he followed everywhere by a group of Trolls telling him that he’s not real, he’s a Tory?

Will Lots-o’-Huggin’ Boris see all of the toys thrown into the garbage? Can the day care centre’s train set work more than four days a week? As electricity prices soar, will AA batteries have to be rationed?

Featuring Michael Fabricant as a brainless monkey with a pair of cymbals; Mick Lynch as a surprisingly likeable dinosaur; the 1922 Committee as the Barrel of Monkeys; and introducing Dominic Cummings as the Evil Emperor Zurg.

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