Yesterday, Ofgem announced that it will lift the energy price cap by an average of 80%, taking average bills from £1,971 per year to £3,549. This will of course put a great deal of stress on British households and businesses.

What can be done? Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak will have their own strategies, as will Keir Starmer. But change can begin at home. If energy is more expensive, it might force us to use less of it. So, in the spirit of being constructive, I thought I would offer some helpful tips on how to less gas and electricity.

1. Wear more layers.

Are you the kind of person who walks about your home in the winter in your underwear? In a t-shirt and shorts? I see you. (Well, not literally. No need to approach the window.)

Perhaps you could just wear more layers? Who doesn’t love curling up in their favourite fleece, or lying under a blanket on the sofa? Make the most of your wardrobe! Put on those trousers. Put on that hoodie. Put on those gloves. Put on that balaclava. Now you won’t just feel warm but you will be ready to go out and steal all the things you’ll have no money to buy after paying your bills.

2. Light a fire.

Okay, you’ll need a fireplace for this one. Don’t just pile up logs in the middle of your sitting room. But if you are fortunate enough to own a fireplace, make the most of it! 

Now, I hear you: wood and coal are expenses too. So, get creative. Burn all of the newspapers that spent the spring and summer bickering about trivial Westminster gossip and manufacturing optimism about the outcome of Russo-Ukrainian War. It will keep you warm and it will be satisfying.

3. Exercise!

Yes, I know. Who has the time? Who has the energy? But not only does exercise keep us warm while we are moving — it boosts our metabolism. So, let’s get physical! I recommend getting hold of a punchbag. Not only does “bagwork” build strength and have serious cardiovascular benefits but it is cathartic too. We can slam your fists into the bag’s unforgiving surface while screaming about the theft of our hopes and dreams.

4. Visit a public space.

Struggling to afford to heat and light your home? Why not visit a public space! There, you can find warmth and meet members of your community. For example, you could visit a library. What’s that? Oh, it was closed. So, you could visit a church. Huh? Oh, that was closed as well. A pub? Closed. A Starbucks? See, I knew we would think of something in the end.

5. Stop charging your phone.

Let’s be honest: what is it doing for you now? Infuriating you as you scroll through the TL — your blood pressure rising with every piece of bad news or vacuous quote from a politician or political commentator. (Hypertension, by the way, is worse in the winter.) So, do something for your energy bills and your health and do without the damn thing.

6. Get really into candles.

Who doesn’t love candles? They come in all sorts of different sizes, shapes and colours. They have all kinds of different smells. For children, they are reminiscent of Christmas. For adults, they speak of romance. Learn to love them. After all, you might not have much choice.

7. Have more sex.

Speaking of romance, why not get more intimate this winter? (If you have the choice of course!) Skin-to-skin contact is known to warm people even in freezing temperatures. Besides, we might reverse our fertility crisis at the same time.

8. Read a good book.

The TV and the laptop use electricity, of course — but a good book doesn’t! Why not curl up near a candle and crack one open? You might find that it is more enjoyable than Netflix anyway. What to read? Well, that is up to you. But you could read, for example, an inspiring history book — perhaps about the Siege of Leningrad or the Great Blizzard? Me, I have been reading a fascinating biography of Lawrence Oates — the explorer who joined the doomed last expedition of Robert Falcon Scott. Oates, too weak to continue, sacrificed himself by walking out into a blizzard, where he died of hypothermia.

So, really we don’t have that much to complain about do we?