This article is taken from the March 2021 issue of The Critic. To get the full magazine why not subscribe? Right now we’re offering three issue for just £5.

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For decades, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has fought for free speech. Finally, the organisation has realised that “free speech” is a racist dog whistle. I have been saying this for a long time now: the only way to prevent the rise of fascism is to empower the state to arrest people for what they say and think.

Recently the ACLU issued a stunning series of myth-busting facts about trans people in sports. Like all important activism, this was achieved via Twitter. 

FACT ONE: Trans girls are girls. 

FACT TWO: Trans athletes do not have an unfair advantage in sports. 

FACT THREE: Including trans athletes will benefit everyone. 

FACT FOUR: Trans people belong on the same teams as other students. 

It’s perfectly clear that putting the word FACT in capital letters makes it far more reliable than any so-called “peer-reviewed scientific research”. 

Now that the ACLU has conclusively proved that there are literally no biological differences between men and women, it’s time to make some further demands. Firstly, we need to ban all division of sporting events into male and female. The only reason why this exists at all is that men are terrified of being beaten by women. 

Secondly, we need to remove the outdated category of “sex” from birth certificates. All babies will be assigned a number and may select their own name once they are familiar with gender identity theory and have developed the ability to speak. Probably in that order. 

Finally, we should work together to promote love, compassion and tolerance by forcing all dumb TERF cisgender bitches to shut the fuck up, and punching them repeatedly if they refuse. 

The UK is slowly catching up with these progressive aims. Alex Sobel, Labour politician and member of the shadow cabinet, recently declared that there should not be any sex-segregated facilities for women in hospitals, schools, prisons, or domestic violence refuge centres. This is a powerful step forward, as any form of segregation of men and women is gender apartheid. 

Except when it comes to mosques, in which case it’s empowering.