We called him Troll. Not because he was a bully (he was, but this was long before social media) but in light of his dyspeptic demeanour and appalling personal hygiene. 

Living in a public school boarding house, you become intimately acquainted with someone who, in other circumstances, you’d cross the street to avoid. And so it was for Peter Bright and me. For three years we lived cheek-by-jowl; same year, same house at Winchester College. We got into a fight on the very first day and our relationship barely improved over the next three years.

Then I left the school and scarcely gave him another thought for nearly a quarter of a century, save for a vague awareness that we worked in the same industry. But when I read in summer 2019 that a US-based British tech journalist had been arrested in an FBI child abuse sting, I knew. 

The police are terrified of being tarred with the “bigot” brush

Peter Bright was sentenced last year to 144 months’ imprisonment for soliciting a minor for sex. In his defence, Bright had argued that he believed he was engaged in online “age play”, described by an expert at his trial as a sexual kink in which “participants are pretending that they’re a different age than what they are.”

One of the most remarkable aspects of the modern-day men’s sexual rights movement is how “kink shaming” has been positioned as equally abhorrent to prejudices against race, religion or disability. 

But while some kinks are harmless, “age play” certainly is not. Sexologists, psychologists and kinksters themselves are keen to distinguish paraphilic infantilism (referred to as daddy dom/little girl or DDLG in the kink community) from paedophilia. But while its proponents emphasise the “fantasy” element, the evidence points to a much darker reality.

Take the guide to DDLG on sex toy review site SexualAlpha, which states:

Little Girl takes the role of the child-like, sweet girl and regresses in age. The age can vary from baby who wears the diapers or a young teenage girl. Little Girl is submissive, she takes the role of a silly, bratty girl, who likes to cuddle, play with toys, follow the rules, break them, be punished, and so on….She gives the control to Daddy and trusts he will do what’s best for her. [my emphasis].

So far, so repugnant. What’s even more alarming is the number of recent cases of sexual predators and abusers with a background in “age play”. These include the infamous case of David Challenor, who imprisoned and repeatedly raped a 10-year-old victim in his attic while forcing her to wear adult-sized baby dresses and nappies.

Not all “age play” will escalate into abuse. But that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Paraphilias often stem from child physical and sexual abuse, maladjustment and cognitive disorders. They are rarely if ever sexualities to be celebrated.

I have a particular reason to be alarmed by kinksters roleplaying child sexual abuse (CSA). Before Winchester I went to a little prep school in the Cotswolds where I was raped by the headmaster. I’ve written about this before. If you’re bored with reading about it, I can assure you that’s nothing compared to the consequences of living with it: the PTSD, the panic attacks, the self-injury, addiction, and suicide attempts.

So I take a dim view of UK police forces’ endorsement of kink in general, or Wiltshire Police’s recent attendance at a Pride event that promoted promoting various “sexuality flags”. Fair Cop has obtained images of the police promoting various “sexuality flags”, which go far beyond the boring Gay/Lesbian/Bi orientations and include “Master-Slave Pride”, “Puppy Pride” (getting your kicks dressed up as cartoon dogs) and the pretended paedophilia of “Age Play Pride”.

Fantasising about having sex with children is self-evidently shameful

While none of these kinks is particularly a matter for pride, fantasising about having sex with children is self-evidently shameful. That “age players” can openly discuss their proclivities in public is symptomatic of how paraphiliacs are immune from criticism — just so long as they come waving a flag. That the police can endorse it only shows how little thought they put into their wholehearted adoption of whichever special interest group hoves into view, and how terrified they are of being tarred with the “bigot” brush.

Moral panickers often deploy the slippery slope fallacy, arguing that if we tolerate X, it won’t be long before we are forced to accept all manner of other wickedness.  But with Wiltshire Police’s celebration of “age play” we see them going straight to the most evil and damaging paraphilia of all. Indulging a fantasy for sex with children is abhorrent. It’s time for everybody endorsing “age play” — and especially the police — to grow up.