Vote for Ethel the Unready
Scullionbait

Lactose intolerance

Stories of social progress are our mother’s, er, I mean, our parents’ milk

The agenda-less BBC have been accused of making a boob over a TV segment that claimed transwomen’s breast milk is as good, or better, than women’s. The Context, a current affairs programme, featured a non-binary, “lactation consultant trainee” called Kate Luxion who suggested babies could get all the nutrients they needed from the tiny nipples of an XY DNA carrier pumped with drugs. When talking about “the research which has been done specifically about trans women”, the BBC showed pictures of babies being breast-fed by real women non-transwomen, which it was suggested could be misleading because a lot of people don’t realise that the word “transwoman” means a woman who was mistakenly assigned male at birth by bigoted midwives who probably read The Critic. Wisely not regulated by Ofcom, the BBC’s own-homework-marking department rejected this part of the complaint, but did suggest that more evidence than a single case might be needed to assert that “transbreast is best”. Just getting this off my chest but I think we need to overlook the so-called “needs” of the literal babies crying over drops of chemically-produced milk and instead focus on the real victims of all of this, the feelings of men — Oops! Excuse my mammary lapse — transwomen.

Sexist election
I must admit, “snap-elections are sexist” is not something I’d considered before, but now it’s been suggested, without challenge, by the BBC of all places, it does start to make sense. Plaid Cymru’s Bethan Sayed has called out the masculine disregard for women’s preparation time in a snap contest. I bet it took Rishi five minutes to put on a pair of shorts and walk out in the rain in order to announce the vote, but just think how long it must have taken the thousands of female candidates to get ready? They only had a month to get their hair and make-up done. If my wife is anything to go by they’d have about 2 weeks less than their male counterparts. This is an argument which, coming from a white person, I wouldn’t ordinarily have listened to, but Sayed scores pretty highly on the oppression rankings because she is a woman, lives in Wales, and, worst of all, used to be on the Welsh Assembly. She tells the BBC: “It’s often a knee jerk situation” for political parties in a snap election and says the parties think:

How can we find women to beef up a particular list, so we look better? As opposed to them thinking strategically about why that woman would be a better candidate in that area… It’s a very complex picture and it’s not for the individual to have to deal with this.

Yes, I totally agree it’s sexist. Finding someone who is both a) Female and b) Competent is almost impossible without years of planning. Chauvinists will probably point out that in 2019 the Fixed Term Parliament Act 2011 had disastrous consequences and created a zombie parliament that wouldn’t die, but next time I see Sir Keith I’ll suggest something more progressive-sounding like the Fixed Term Parliament to Help Chaotic Women Plan Properly Bill. His Dad can probably lend him the tools for the necessary constitutional vandalism.

Humble hag
I’ve always been suspicious of people who are happy to take part in inclusive events, like the two minutes hate, but are unwilling to put in the hard fun hours during their free time. Which is why this Mumsnet post, in which a birthing parent complains about being encouraged to attend a Primary School’s Pride festival on a weekend, is highly problematic. 

Unbelievably she adds: “I feel I have other things I would rather do with my Saturday morning, and I feel attending Pride events should be a choice for families to make for themselves.” That’s pretty time-exclusionary. The school put on a FREE re-educational seminar for the parents beforehand and she’s still complaining. Very suspicious. Another mother called her a dinosaur and stopped talking to her, which shows the parent community at their best. She also claims that on Sports day the children aren’t split up, so the boys win everything. Where do I even start with that? First, I can’t believe she would assume the gender of the winners, and second, if the sissy girls can’t run without tripping over, then whose fault is that? Pride comes before a fall.

Swift payment
A generic-sounding white female singer is on a carbon-spewing visit… what? We’re all poptimists now? Er, sorry, I mean I am delighted that the amazingly talented Taylor Swift has arrived on Airstrip One. But wasn’t it funny that did you know that one of her DOCs (Dancers of colour), Kameron Saunders, thought he needed to worry about “cultural appropriation” when buying tartan in Scotland? Everyone knows the UK has zero culture worth preserving and the culture that it does have, like football hooliganism, should be mocked mercilessly. The 31-year-old had “always wanted an authentic kilt” but is under the impression he needs to be “super respectful about the culture so prior to purchasing I had an extensive conversation with the salesman who educated me… he assured me that I could wear this outfit with pride”. I bet he did! The money-grabbing Jock.

Spreadshate
I’m alarmed that Charlotte Gill has got to the spreadsheet stage of her so-called “research” into so-called “woke waste”. She’s trying to destroy everything that we hold dear like a jihadi bombing his way through the institutions, only the jihadi is called Charlotte and is actually evil. So far Jihadi-Chaz has found £20m of projects ranging from a Phd called “Intersectionality, wellbeing and women’s experiences of climbing” which cost taxpayers’ just £58,000, and a show called “Patti Harrison: My Huge Tits [are] Huge Because They Are Infected NOT FAKE” by a definitely real woman which got a share of a £1.8m grant. Capitalist pigs say hate-things like “if it’s a good show, why do you need taxpayer’s money to put it on?” But, like the state-directed East German production of plastic clothing, this stuff is just too important to be left to the ignorant masses, who might be swayed by concepts like “taste” and “basic decency”.

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